I brave the cold as I inserted my body into the light blue water. I used to come to swim regularly, and found enjoyment in it, but I haven’t really done it in a few years now. Not like that anyway. It was a little too cold for my preference, but I had set my mind to it, and I had been putting this off for far too long.
So, determined, I dove in and started swimming.
I had wondered beforehand if I would be able to swim 1 km today. I didn’t care how long it would take me, or how many breaks I would need to take. Would I manage?
I am enjoying moving through the water, trying to recall the movements my body needs to do, and activating the right muscles to move well and dynamically.
I’ve already swam a distance, hit the length of the pool and had to turn. I turned and started swimming back, the movements already starting to tire me out.
I managed the first lapse and turned again, swimming on. I do this a few more times, and I realize it is becoming difficult.
‘There is no way I will manage 1 km.’, I think to myself.
I am reminded of a friend of mine who recently shared her experience with me: She needed to pass a physical test, but she had no training at all. She started to train together with friends, and was the unfittest of them all. As she trained, she kept praying that the Lord would give her strength. Even when she felt like she couldn’t go on anymore, she prayed that the Lord would give her strength and somehow, she always managed it all.
I felt a nudging to do the same; to not keep thinking of how I won’t manage, but instead ask the Lord to give me strength.
‘Well,’ I prayed, ‘Lord, please give me strength.’
I kept swimming. And I kept praying.
It didn’t become easy, but I was still swimming. I was more than half-way through now, and I realize that maybe, just maybe, 1 km was possible?
I start reflecting on my prayer life, and how I may have been approaching this the same way at times. How often have I prayed for the Lord to provide me with something without even showing up and doing my part?
I pray for patience, but then quickly despair of my lack of patience when trials come.
I pray for love, but if I never leave my house to love people and practice it, why would He provide? There is no need to.
I pray for strength, but why would He need to give me strength if I don’t show up to where I need to be strengthened?
I realize how often my prayers focus on storage, rather than providing the immediate needs. How often I pray for things to come in heaps, so that I have it to access if the need should arise. But that is not the Lord’s principle. That is praying against my anxiety of not being enough, of failing.
He taught us to pray for our daily bread. For our daily needs. And He provides for our daily needs.
He led the Israelites into the desert, and He provided manna (food) for them. But He didn’t provide it in heaps, for them to carry around and always have enough to access in the back of their tents. He provided daily, and asked them to gather just what they need. (Exodus 16)
As Jesus was speaking to the crowds and didn’t want to dismiss them hungry, he didn’t give mountains of bread and fish before they started distributing it. He took what they had, and they started distributing, and He provided along the way, and fed thousands. (John 6)
He tells us not to worry about what we say when questioned about Him, not to have to come up with a speech beforehand and have it ready to deliver eloquently, but to simply rely on Him, and His Spirit will give us the words. (Matthew 10)
The Lord wants to provide for us daily, because it will keep us in daily surrender, reliance and conversation with Him. He knows that if we have storehouses full of everything we need, we don’t need to ask Him anymore. It’s all there. But He wants us to ask, because He wants to communicate with us, and He wants us to come to Him. He doesn’t want us to forget Him, and we know that, as humans, we quickly forget. (I mean, at least I know I do.)
But God wants to be in a daily relationship with us, and therefore He often doesn’t provide in heaps and buckets, but He provides daily, as the need arises. He provides daily, as we show up.
He does not strengthen my muscles and body and make it fit to swim while I sit at home on the couch. He strengthens my body as I swim, and as I ask Him to do so.
And just like that, I swam 1 km.
