Many of you might feel desperate or anxious these days. As we suddenly have to adjust life to something beyond our control, change our plans and lives, as leaders need to make difficult decisions, and as some of you might be isolated, anxiety and desperation seems to come easily.
I want to tell you about one of my desperate days, because anxiety and desperation sometimes comes easily to me.
That desperate day I want to tell you about was one of those days when anxiety seemed so prevalent, I could barely make it out of bed. But duties called, and chores and assignments were waiting, so I pushed through.
I stood in the kitchen, and passively watched the water boil. I had forgotten the time when I put the eggs into the water, but I didn’t care too much anyway.
I was talking to God, telling Him how I really didn’t want to do this life of desperation anymore, that I was tired and I just wanted to quit and walk away and start afresh somewhere, some place where anxiety, to-do lists, fighting, and hiding would be words without meaning.
I don’t know if you have ever had a day like this? Or days, maybe?
Maybe today is a day like that? Maybe your fights, your lists, your shame, your messed up plans or your illness all seem to be too much to bear today?
Then maybe, you relate.
And maybe you also know that even in those times, we still have commitments and responsibilities to keep.
Even on the very desperate days, I can’t just walk away.*
Because of that, I do the only thing I know and keep talking to God. That day, I asked Him to talk to me through Scripture, to give me something that will somehow get me through this day.
Isaiah 42 came to my mind.
“Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him and he will bring justice to the nations. He will not shout or cry out, or raise his voice in the streets. A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. In faithfulness he will bring justice;” (Isaiah 42:1-3 NIV)
This passage can be very confusing if we don’t understand who it talks about. At least I was confused until I went and searched and learnt more about it.
It’s Jesus. In that passage, Isaiah talks about a servant who will bring justice to the nations –
Jesus, who will bring justice to the nations.
Jesus, who won’t cry out or raise His voice in the streets.
Instead, He will bring peace. He will bring justice. He will be faithful.
Knowing this didn’t automatically lift that heavy blanket that seemed to weigh me down that day. But it reminded me that I don’t need to do much.
Because Jesus, God’s Chosen One, has already done it.
He has already brought justice to the nations, He did not falter, but in faithfulness, carried out what His Father has asked Him to do. For you. For me.
It’s all been done.
I wrote a song about it. Please be gracious, as this is me playing on my cheap piano, recording very unprofessionally on my mobile phone. It won’t sound as good as any of the music you are used to.
But I hope the words still come through, and that it will help you remember.
That the remembering will take at least a tiny bit of pressure off those desperate days.
Just try. Remember.
*Disclaimer: Of course, there are situations where people need to go and hide or walk away from situations to take care of their mental health. If you are one of them, I pray you’ll find the strength to do so.
